Me...A Struggle

If there is a me that curses and struggles
and me that winks and walk in peace

do i have a choise of selves,

There occasions that i talk to a man

who is riding high on some recent insight

or triumph,and for a moment life probably

seems to him to have no problems.
But just don't believe that most people are

living the smooth,controlled,trouble free existence

that there careful countenances and bland word suggest.

Today never hands me the same thing twice,

and i believe that for almost everyone else,

life is also a mixture of unsolved problems,

ambigous victories,and vague defeats-

with very few moments of clear peace.
I never do seem to quite on top of it.

My struggle with today is worthwhile,but it's

as struggle nonetheless and one that seems never to end.

The pay off must be elsewhere,and i suspect that it's

within that laughing heart that can surface so unexpectedly