P.S. For You...

You're reading my mind all the times...

I've been listening to you all the while...

Yes...You do..for it is superfacial....

But this is not yet the real me..

For this girl of yours is unique and distinctive.

 

I love the way you speak..

Your vision is truly inspiring...

Little by little I'm trying to skinned your being..

Patiently infussing my thoughts in you...

 

I never did comparisson,neither nor competition..

For I strongly believed each one has an own distinction.

I'm a listener more than a speaker....

Yet sometimes..I also wanted to be heard..

 

This mind is oozing with ideas and visions,of

hopes, whims and inspirations.

For in the first place,I never dreamt to be like this..

What I am.who I am,where I am..

There purpose lies beneath....

 

Believing that along every journey..

Eventually will disclose..

Knowing you is a fortune..

I dreamt for it for so long...

 

I had left my past behind..

And put my right foot forward all the times.

Things between us are not permanent...

Like leaves,soon will withered and die..

and leave its vulnerabilities behind.

 

But what is most important...

Is our heart has been filled with good traces,

that we both have shared ONCE........

Dreams

I lost young petals

Wondering souls

I see the dreams you seek

Follow me please if you dare.

The dream that comes for you and me

 

I return by your side

With a heart in my hand.

Like a dancing flame

To the slow music turning

 

My heart smooth as ivory,

Has turned to a lonely,sulfur.

I retire my heart now to you.

Loving you Forevermore.

Whenever I Am Alone..

All I wanted was someone to care for me
All I wanted was someone who would be there for me

All I ever want was someone who would be true

All I ever wanted was someone like you.

When things go wrong

When sadness fills your heart

When tear flows from your eyes,

Always remember three things..

I am with YOU

Still with YOU

Will ALWAYS with YOU

When you feel alone,

just look at the spaces between your fingers.

Remember that in those spaces,

there will soon be my fingers,

Locked with you FOREVER!!!



Please Listen....

When I ask you to listen to me

and you start giving me advice,

you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me

and you begin to tell me why

I should feel that way,

you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me

and you feel you have to do something

to solve my problem,

you have failed me,

strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen.

Don't talk or do-just hear me.

Advice is cheap;20 cents will get.

And I can do for myself;I am not helpless.

Maybe discouraged and faltering,

but not helpless.

Wen you do something for me that I can

and need to do for myself,

you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact

that I feel what I feel,

no matter how irrational,

then I can stop trying to convince

you and get about this business

of understanding what's behind

this irrational feeling.
And when that's clear the answers are obvious

and I don't need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when

we understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works,sometimes,

for some people-because God is mute,and He doesn't

give advice or try to fix things.

God just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

So...please listen,and just hear me.

And if you want to talk,wait a minute for your turn

and I will listen to you....

So Harsh....

Gazing at the skies above
Searching for the long lost love
Makes me feel nostalgic
'bout the moments that are gone by.

Wanna live those moments again
Standing together in the rain
Watchin' your body drenched
With water and my passionate vision....

Losing you....

"So does this mean you want to break up?"I asked,hoping my question would go unanswered.That is how it all began,or I guess,ended.The years the two of us had shared were one of the happiest,hardest and most challenging years I ever experienced.It seemed impossible that this was the last conversation we would have as Izzy and Ritch,the couple.

 I had ignored the fact that the majority of foreign relationships do not last.I guess in the back of my mind,I always thought Izzy was the only man,I would ever had this feelings for,that he was the only man,would ever understand me.I never took into account that the last month of our relationship was one of the hardest I had ever gone through.It just stopped being fun.It stopped being about us and started to be about everything that surrounded him and me.

 The next day we've met,I tried looking great to make him see what he had given up.I even tried to talk to him like my heart wasn't aching,like I was better off and even happier.But inside I looked at him and could only see all the love and time I had given and all the hurt I had received.At home.I walked around my room in a complete daze and cried myself to sleep every night.He was the only thing I thought about.dreamt about and talked about.I drove my friends crazy by constantly analyzing the situation.How it could have ended?I found my other half when I was with him.I felt like something had torn from me like I was no longer whole.

 One night,I couldn't stand it.I gave up and called him.I didn't last for five minutes before I broke down and started crying.I told him I had forgotten how to be myself,and that I needed him.I didn't know how to be Ritch without Izzy.We had been through so much together that I could not imagine getting through this on my own.He told me that he would always care for me,but that it had become impossible to love me.

 I don't know at exactly what point things started to change.I began spending time with my prayers and devotions.I joined fellowships and made after-work-palns.I was doing all I could to stay busy.

 Slowly I began  to have fun by myself without Izzy.Beyond that,I discovered things I like doing,was I could be of help.I lent a sympathetic ears to others who were hurting.

 I began to smile and finally to laugh again.Whole days would pass without a thought of Izzy.I would see him at malls and wave.I was not ready to be friends with him.I was still healing.But I know i didn't cover a big wound with a Band -Aid and forget about it.I let the wound heal by itself and felt enough pain to know that I had truly cared for him.

 The wonderful thing that happened was that I learned how to be a whole person,not half a couple.I had proven that the famous qoute is true."Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"Because no matter what,loving yourself can heal anything...

Just Between Us



"we are like angels with one wing,we can only fly by embracing each other"

Leading a hard life right from the start,
Pain,like thorns piercing through my vains.
Suddenly you came by surprised,

Touches my heart,embraces me with pride.

Right from the start we both felt the spark
Shuttered whimps gathered together,confusions fade away.
For once we shared a feelings that gently comes to live..
Just between us.

For years,we've been so inlove....
Sharing a lifetime with you no matter what..
Every moment is preciuos..worth reminiscing..
Just between us

Each night, heaven looks down upon us..

Scattered stars shining high up above...

We sat down,held hands and never part...
Starring one another,embracing,seems the world is only for us
Still,just between us

But life wasn't favourable enough.
Keeping my ship ashore,steering wheels against all odds..

Tears flooded away as my voice is a kind of husked.
An hour of grief came,when my heart doesn't coax with my brain.
To loved you more.and not to cursed,that was i felt deep within.

For sometimes you're lips are zipped..

Left me all alone,grasping air to breathe once more.

I called you for the last time,yet never turned back.
When my phone rang,it was you..
"trust me with all your heart and i will be there for you through the rest of my life"

I saw a shadow coming from afar,head bowed,you came back to my surprise.
You held my hands,embracing me with all your might..

And the night is over..it's all over.....
Just between us..

Again life is really unfair,for we didn't make it thru there..

I nursed my emotions and waited for the adrenaline to dilute..
Skull rattled,from whatever spazzed in there..
I doubt,I'm the only woman who has tried to buy time with a little denial..
Things between us is over..finally over..or

Somehow stealing it's way through the fog..
Nothing would be remembered,for i closed the chapter of...
Just Between Us.......

 





when it is over

I believe in signs,i believe in fate.I believe that every single day people are offered the chance to make the best possible decision about everything they do.

I believe that i failed,and that at same point,I lost my connection with God.And now,all I need is to put an end to that cycle.

It is always important to know that something reached its end.Closing circles,shutting doors,finishing chapters,it doesn't matter what we call it,what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.I slowly realize I could not go back and force things to be as they once were.

I know God has a long list of plans for me.What are those?I don't know..After the dilemma,I am still dithering what to pursue.There are happenings in my life that i cannot divulge to even my close friends.My divergence always put me into isolation.

Eventually,I knew someone who introduces me to the world of truth and make believe.Ethnicity didn't make its way to create a barrier.Every now and then,I find God's love in every which way.

His words are ravishing..scintillating,that i can't resist every detail.It lifted me up.Embraces me and comfort me from pain that almost ended my life.Yes,the latter phrase is a part of my confession.Sounds raving,but  really it did happen.

Nonetheless,I am reticent and leave to God the rest.When it is over,I want to breathe fresh breeze.Experience His amazing grace,scatter my view to the wonders of His creations and open my window to a new light that is approaching to embrace me..

When it is over..I am not alone..I am with the one who knows who I am..My..Best friend..through eternity..

Awakening....

      I'm beginning to like the idea of learning or rather become conscious to it. A soon as people decide to confront a problem, they realise that they are more capable than they thought they were. That all energy and all knowlegde come from the same unknown source, which we usually call God. What I've tried to do with my life ever since I've started out, to what I believe to be my path, is to honour that energy. To connect with it everyday, for all of myself to be guided by the signs. That no one is alone in their trouble that there is always someone else thinking, rejoicing or suffering in the same way. And that gives us the strength to confront the challenge before us.
     If there is suffering, then it's best to accept it, because it won't go away just because you pretend it's not there. Some people can only relate to life through sacrifice and renunciation. Some can only be a part of humanity when they think they are "happy". But why all these questions??
     Because I'm in love and I'm afraid of suffering. Till I realise, why should I have to be afraid? The only way to avoid suffering is to refuse to love.
     Why do I have such frustrating relationships with men? Because I always feel like I have to be in a relationship, and that means, I have to be fantastic, intelligent, sensitive and exceptional as a person. The forces of seduction, force me to give my best. Besides, it's really hard living on your own.
     Well,it doesn't stop here. I have to fight the battle. Because i know i'm worth it. Any woman capable of loving a man as much, deserves all the respect and is worth all the effort. And to show that it is  important to be myself, I will pursue; however absurd it might be. I will channel my faith into my own search to the reality of my existence.

Why I Am here.....ALIVE.......IN LOVE

                                     .......dedicated my my distant friend who open up my conciousness and able to

                                             give me strength and inspiration to pursue in writings...
                                                                                 Thak you soooo much.....

Eternal Gift

One day I stumbled,
and once again was lifted by an unseen hand.
What comfort and joy that knowlegde brings,
for I feel the touch of His presence.

The eyes that once closed,
are open wide and full of hope.
For she'd experienced the gifts

that has been told.

In her doom and miseries,
Her soul is renewed and given
Strength to pursue and endure.....