when it is over

I believe in signs,i believe in fate.I believe that every single day people are offered the chance to make the best possible decision about everything they do.

I believe that i failed,and that at same point,I lost my connection with God.And now,all I need is to put an end to that cycle.

It is always important to know that something reached its end.Closing circles,shutting doors,finishing chapters,it doesn't matter what we call it,what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.I slowly realize I could not go back and force things to be as they once were.

I know God has a long list of plans for me.What are those?I don't know..After the dilemma,I am still dithering what to pursue.There are happenings in my life that i cannot divulge to even my close friends.My divergence always put me into isolation.

Eventually,I knew someone who introduces me to the world of truth and make believe.Ethnicity didn't make its way to create a barrier.Every now and then,I find God's love in every which way.

His words are ravishing..scintillating,that i can't resist every detail.It lifted me up.Embraces me and comfort me from pain that almost ended my life.Yes,the latter phrase is a part of my confession.Sounds raving,but  really it did happen.

Nonetheless,I am reticent and leave to God the rest.When it is over,I want to breathe fresh breeze.Experience His amazing grace,scatter my view to the wonders of His creations and open my window to a new light that is approaching to embrace me..

When it is over..I am not alone..I am with the one who knows who I am..My..Best friend..through eternity..

Awakening....

      I'm beginning to like the idea of learning or rather become conscious to it. A soon as people decide to confront a problem, they realise that they are more capable than they thought they were. That all energy and all knowlegde come from the same unknown source, which we usually call God. What I've tried to do with my life ever since I've started out, to what I believe to be my path, is to honour that energy. To connect with it everyday, for all of myself to be guided by the signs. That no one is alone in their trouble that there is always someone else thinking, rejoicing or suffering in the same way. And that gives us the strength to confront the challenge before us.
     If there is suffering, then it's best to accept it, because it won't go away just because you pretend it's not there. Some people can only relate to life through sacrifice and renunciation. Some can only be a part of humanity when they think they are "happy". But why all these questions??
     Because I'm in love and I'm afraid of suffering. Till I realise, why should I have to be afraid? The only way to avoid suffering is to refuse to love.
     Why do I have such frustrating relationships with men? Because I always feel like I have to be in a relationship, and that means, I have to be fantastic, intelligent, sensitive and exceptional as a person. The forces of seduction, force me to give my best. Besides, it's really hard living on your own.
     Well,it doesn't stop here. I have to fight the battle. Because i know i'm worth it. Any woman capable of loving a man as much, deserves all the respect and is worth all the effort. And to show that it is  important to be myself, I will pursue; however absurd it might be. I will channel my faith into my own search to the reality of my existence.

Why I Am here.....ALIVE.......IN LOVE

                                     .......dedicated my my distant friend who open up my conciousness and able to

                                             give me strength and inspiration to pursue in writings...
                                                                                 Thak you soooo much.....

Eternal Gift

One day I stumbled,
and once again was lifted by an unseen hand.
What comfort and joy that knowlegde brings,
for I feel the touch of His presence.

The eyes that once closed,
are open wide and full of hope.
For she'd experienced the gifts

that has been told.

In her doom and miseries,
Her soul is renewed and given
Strength to pursue and endure.....